Thursday, August 2, 2007

ET. Go home.

When will the pain stop?

That's the first I say when I come to, a bit groggy, but I don't come to enough. My husband is there with me and the nurse looks a little concerned that I am still very woozy. Suddenly my pulse and my blood pressure drop considerably and she has to give me something to pep me up. I pep but I stay there a couple of hours recovering. We're told the doctor collected 25 eggs. Apparently that's a lot. My belly tells me it is a lot. The taxi ride home is painful, London is full of speed bumps.

I spend the next couple of days before embryo transfer shuffling around, mainly to the loo. Any pressure on my bladder is killer so I am peeing constantly. Turning over in bed hurts. It all hurt. But I didn't care, I had ten embryos busy hatching.

The embryo transfer (ET) is easy. I was still very tender from the egg collection, but the ET is fine. It's quick, the doctor gets a good view of the uterus and pops in the two selected embryos without complication. Before they go in, the embryologist shows them to me on a screen. How wierd. I imagine them with little faces. And from that moment on, for most of the next two weeks I never feel that I am alone, and it's a lovely feeling. I immediately felt protective of my belly, not wanting anyone to bang into it, not wanting to move too much, stretch, or make any sudden moves in case I disturbed them. That's the problem with knowing the embryos are there, you feel more fragile than you probably do if getting pregnant naturally.

The first week of the two week wait is fine, I feel optimistic and I enjoy the sensation of wondering what they're up to, imagining them implanting. However the second week, that's hellish. Every day that passes brings you one day closer to your due date for the period, you scrutinise how you are feeling all the time - do the boobs hurt, do you feel premenstrual, can you feel the arrival of your period, it's endless. It becomes a minute by minute watch, time crawls by.

Then I'm having lunch in the park the day before I'm due to go the pregnancy test and I feel my period come on. You know instantly don't you. Bugger.

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